Yeah, I guess you'd say I'm lamenting not over what didn't but could have happened.With Jackie, as I mentioned, it was not what happened but didn't be...ause of our body parts not meeting where our dent's in and out. I think of her often, more often than Kathy. I wonder how it might have been and actually, still dream about how it might have been. It's one of those 'If Only" moments in my life.But I only mention my first and not so first times as background to my moving into the more adult realm.. "Help me," she whispered.Now, my eyes were blinking. I didn't even want to think about not helping her. It was just too tempting. The music started and it was the same one known to everyone who had ever danced the tango. That would help both of us, I hoped. I did what Judith had done for me for most of the last three months; I told her every dance maneuver before I started it. Within fifteen seconds it looked to the casual observer as if we had practiced together. She was getting her confidence. Even more, it would devastate Helena." Maybe I'm selfish, too, but it would devastate me as well. Okay?" After I nodded, she continued, "So I love you, for whatever irrational reason it may be, love being irrational in its entirety, but mostly because we care for each other." I nodded again. "So never ever think if something I do has consequences effecting you, that it wouldn't matter. Understand?"While I nodded once more, Tash entered the office, looking damp and sexy in a cotton tank top and. But I couldn’t sleep. Just thinking of her photo gave me a hard-on again. I just couldn’t handle it. I took out my phone and saw the pictures again. Now I came across the video. I was now curious. I wanted to know about that guy (who he was?) and also wanted to blackmail her to do anything for me. But I was scared of the second part.What if she told my mom? Then I realized that if she told my mom, she would also be caught for bringing a guy to our house secretly and also for sitting in with him.
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