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However, I have learned one cannot dwell on the "what if's" or the "I should have of's" ... I know you have to move on with life and yet ... more than...two years later ... I find I miss her more than ever. I would say don't dwell on the past; but if the truth be know, at night, when my dragons escape in my mind and then are allowed to roam free; my guilt and sorrow is still all consuming.After she died, Saturdays just seemed to become my day to spend with Carol. Allow me to explain; part of her. Maine bataya ke wo baba 50gram mishri (sugar) aur 100 gram mustard oil par phoonk marker dete hain. Pehle mishri ko ek cup paani mein gholkar peena padta hai. Agar peene ke 10 minute baad pura sharir thakan mahsus karne lage to samjho jadu tona ya kiya kartoot hai. Uske baad phoonk mara hua oil pure sharir mein aise malish kare ki ek baal ke brabar bhi kahin na chhute to jadu ka asar khatam hone lagta hai.. Yeh sun kar aunty ka chehra khushi se chamakne laga aur boli tu jaldi se mere liye jo. Later: You text me on my way to work: ” You’re gonna squirm.” I know that mood well, delight in it. My body responds immediately like a well-trained soldier to danger. It is on instant alert, tight and ready. I was pre-warned, you had said no panties, and I had obeyed, for both our satisfaction. You: “Move your skirt aside. Dip a finger. Taste it.” I obey. It tastes different to you, saltier. “Move your skirt from under you, no wet spot.” “Too late” I answered truthfully, but edged it aside. Snow and slush. Mrs. Johnson was very pleased when Karen showed her her wedding ring. Our landlady had gotten to know Becky over the last few months as well. At first she had been hesitant about Becky staying with us, but when we explained that Becky was my sister and was escaping the dorm, she relented.Now, Mrs. Johnson looked at Becky's finger and asked, "So, did you get married, too, Becky?"Becky laughed and said, "No. It's these damned college boys, Mrs. Johnson. They've been driving me.
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