Stan could see she needed to vent. He was taken aback by her vehemence though, and sat back to think for a minute before he said any more. ‘All righ... then. How about you telling me what happened, and we’ll see what can be done,’ said Stan, groping for a way forward. ‘What’s to tell? I gave myself to him, he dumped me, end of story!’ ‘Do you want to get in touch with him again, Denise? Or perhaps… not now?’ Stan asked. ‘Oh, if I could only…’ began Denise, before her voice trailed off. She was. “That was his psychiatrist,” she said with surprise. “He actually went to a real psychiatrist! She reckons he’ll need a good few more sessions, but thinks it’s worth me going back and living with him, as long as I realise his insecurity is very deep. I should know that he will lapse from time to time, and I need to realise and accept that. She said it’s a little like a phobia.“I said that as long as he was getting help and could appreciate when he failed, I could cope with that, and she said. It wasn’t a complete waste of time because mine was excellent. The questions from the professors, and deans of colleges, eating with us bordered on idiotic. I could tell they were talking down to me like I was any other fifteen-year-old. I tolerated it as I answered their most obscure questions with the only correct answer before I backed it up with the reasons why. One of the ancient-looking Chemistry professors asked me what I got from mixing three different substances. That was the opening I. Barnett had already chewed me out twice that week. I couldn’t afford to be seen as a further liability. According to him, all the other guys were all pulling their weight. --- I started on the treadmill, watching the giant high-def screens silently flick repeatedly through the news. I felt alone, distanced from the craziness of Wall Street. I wasn’t like those guys and those guys weren’t like me. They enjoyed the thrill of the kill. They wanted to be rich and own property, have beautiful.
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